Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Fanny Pack: A tragic loss in fashion

I promised that this blog would be a random collection of the weird things that go on in my head. Little did I know that between the first 2 posts and this one, it would focus mainly on fashion and running. For those of you who know me well, those are 2 things I do not enjoy- we are all surprised, trust me.

Anyway, I need to discuss a very important topic. This is serious you guys.

The fanny pack.

I hate to break it to you, but anyone who thinks they can pull off a fanny pack without looking like a nerd- you're wrong. Fashion wise, we were all smart to move on.


However, in my new attempt to become a runner (1st attempt- pathetic. Can't wait for attempt #2!) I have found myself longing for the convenience of the fanny pack.

When I go running (that's inaccurate, when I go embarrass myself with my feeble jogging attempt and then hobble back home) there are a few things I like to bring with me:

  • iPod- I need my sweet jams. I mean, you can't go on a running attempt without "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO playing. It's just not the same.
  • Mobile Phone
    • it can be used as a watch
    •  I can pretend I'm talking to someone should I come across someone in real life that I don't want to talk to
    • I can call an ambulance if I start to have a heart attack because my body is anti-my running attempts
    • I can call the police if I'm attacked (I watch a lot of crime shows, what?)
  • Keys- I need to get into my car and home after the run so I can cry in peace.
  • Photo ID: Remember how I said I watch a lot of crime shows? Well what if I'm horrendously murdered whilst "running"? (let's face it, there's no way in hell I could actually run from an attacker at this point) I have always been taught to keep ID on you at all time so you can be identified. Morbid? Yes, but practical (and paranoid).
All I'm saying is, a fanny pack would be super convenient to carry all this crap around with me. Especially in the summer. Yoga pants don't have pockets, y'all. And I'm not wearing a sweater that has pockets in 80-degree weather. No thank you. I already admitted to being extra sweaty. Gross.

Oh, oh! WATER (yes, I just yelled that at you). I can clip my water bottle on the fanny pack, too! See! Convenient, practical and just terribly, terribly un-fashionable.

Basically, I feel like if we weren't all concerned with looking like nerds, more people would wear fanny packs and enjoy the convenience. Granted, I have done zero research on alternatives, but if it's good enough for Urkel, it's good enough for me.

As a tribute to the fanny pack, I will now share with you what I would call a love song to the fanny pack. In this video is my friend Abi's boyfriend and 2 friends. Chris, the main "artist" if you will, loves fanny packs. He has a collection and every time I've met him, he's worn one. This is how you truly respect an object! *stay tuned until the end for a special surprise!*


1 comment:

  1. The loss of the fanny pack is a true loss indeed. Tip: if you wear it backwards and under your clothes, nobody will notice it until after they've walked past you, and it will just appear to be a horrible growth underneath your clothes. Sadly, this is less embarrassing than them seeing that you are wearing a fanny pack.

    I don't know about anyone else, but I was expecting to just laugh at a funny video about fanny packs. Instead it ended up making me really question things, such as what I've done with my life so far, and the very nature of God.