Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Feminists: Why did "Equal Rights" become "Anti-Men"?

I'm going to say it right now- I am not a feminist. 

The definition of feminism is:

the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.


an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all about equality and I'd totally back this definition. But look around - the majority of "feminists" I know have taken this to a whole new level. It is no longer about equal rights, it's about men-bashing.

Anything a man says or does, any term he uses that a woman doesn't like is immediately wrong because he's a man. And that's just stupid, ladies.
Total cliche I know, but it was the funniest one closest to what I was looking for.
I have a co-worker who gets up in arms about the term "man cave." She says it shouldn't be called a man cave, it should be a "man or woman cave." OK, no. Let a man have his cave!

It gets him and his buddies out of your hair when they want to hang out. I'm sure you'd like a space to go with your girl friends - away from him - and that would be perfectly legit, right? And it's not like you can't step foot in there (someone's gotta clean, right? haha, totally kidding, I just had to!)

And that's my problem. It's no longer about equal rights, it's become about blame and making it so anything a man does is wrong. Well you know what "feminists"- how is that any better? That's not equality. You don't like it done to you, why do it to them?

Also, I think women get too easily offended. I mean, I do it sometimes, so I know. But just like with marriage, kids, friendships, etc. Pick your battles, ladies. Not everything is worth a war.

I was catching up on the voice tonight and Christina got all offended by a song a contestant sang because the censored lyrics were "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one." Now tell the truth ladies, have you ever called another woman a bitch? Have you ever thought another woman was being a bitch? Have you ever been a bitch? I guarantee the answer is yes. It's probably good he doesn't have a bitch as a problem. Get over it. This isn't worth a battle.

But like I said, I'm all for equality for women. You want to work? Get equal pay? Start your own business? etc? Go for it. I wish you the best. But if you are a woman and you want to stay at home, raise children and make a lovely home for your family, that's OK, too. And a lot of times "feminists" look down on women who want this.

I'm very liberal in many many ways. But in some ways I'm traditional. As of right now in my life, I want to get married. I want to take my husband's name.  I want to be a stay at home mom (if financially feasible) and raise our kids. I want to clean the house and cook from scratch, just like my mom did. I want to find a man where I can genuinely and sincerely say these words to him:

Does that mean I can't do anything else? No. 

But in the words of my best friend- "A woman pregnant and in the kitchen? Sign me up!" ;)

I'm a very strong, very independent woman. I don't need a man to make my life OK or to support me. But I'd like one. I want to be in that balance between independence and dependence. Because dependence isn't weakness, it's finding security in another person. We aren't meant to live alone. We can do it, but why? I want that balance, that equality that feminists were originally looking for. But I won't try to lessen the value or box in men to get it. If I want full rights and respect, I have to give it to him as well. 

There's a lesson to learn here, ladies. Think about it.


1 comment:

  1. Amen to the man cave thing! Kyle would laugh in my face if I suggested calling his future man cave a "man or woman cave" hahaha. So stupid. ALSO I friggin love that Christina Augilera meme. So true haha.